Best collection of whatsapp status

• Money can’t buy love but it can buy lipsticks.(for lipstick lovers.. :P)
• Sometimes if your best friend is in love with someone, start finding love. Or a new best friend.
• Love is Blind! and the worst type of it is.. Shortsighted. I can’t please everyone I’m not pizza.
• Yeah! I made mistakes but Life doesn’t come up with instructions. 
• If you can’t convince them, confuse them. 
• Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught. Never Laugh At your wife’s choices. Because you are probably one of them
• If “Plan A” didn’t work. Don’t worry; the alphabet has 25 more letters. 
• If everything doesn’t go right. then go left All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
• I don’t always have time to study… but when I do, I don’t.
•  Dry fruits are just fruits that have become senior citizens. 
• Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favourite.
• Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. 
• when I was born, I was so surprised that i didn’t talk for two years 
• I love my job when I am on vacations.
•  I had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
• My life is like open book but no one is allowed to read it Marriage is the cause of divorce, no marriage no divorce. 
• Give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish for compliments, he’ll join your Facebook and post enigmatic status updates. 
• Grammar: The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.
• Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. 
• I’m currently waiting for further instructions. My brain has too many tabs open, Need to stop refreshing. 
• Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there’s an idiot pulling a door that says “PUSH”. 
• When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic!!!
• Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire! 
• WARNING: Going to sleep Sunday night causes Monday. Staying up all night Sunday also causes Monday. 
• There is no cure. Q is just O with a cigar..
•  Life is like GRAMMAR : PAST-PERFECT, FUTURE-CONTINUOUS, & PRESENT-TENSED !
• After getting drunk, bachelor of technology turns into master of philosophy.
• Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.
•  Happiness is when “Last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing..” My laziness is like 8, when I lie down it becomes infinity. 
• Always remember you are UNIQUE………… just like everybody else. …….
•  SI unit of ignorance = “seen”
• My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”. 
• It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world each day fit exactly the length of newspaper. 
• Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation.
•  I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day
• A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for long time!! 
• When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted. 
• The only time success comes before work is in dictionary. 
• 80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.
•  WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!